At last I have found myself typing the words for real. It’s no longer mere thoughts in my head triggered by some mellow songs on Spotify; no more wasted time thinking how I should begin each post I wish to publish for the first time this year 2015. Really, I’m totally out of my consciousness lately.
I hurt people’s feelings and lost to some battles because of my own selfish acts of chaotic behavior. It was only just recently I came to the conclusion that my “get out of jail free” cards were running dangerously low, and my luck was about to say “f*ck it” and refuse to bail me out.
So tonight, I refused to go out and just breathe it all out!!! Well actually, I just dozed off the feels left to be felt from what's keeping me still. I want to moved on completely! To be true to my words again that moving on is my forte and just find myself ready, stronger and braver!
I think it's time I look at myself from another's POV because I want to help myself. I want to win over myself!
JERMA doesn't know how to communicate her feelings well. She maybe too open with her emotions but still don't hold on to those as she's too volatile. She hates pleasing people for the sole reason that she may not be sticking to her true intentions. She only dreams of getting that one thing she thinks she deserves but wavers every now and then to some who/which she seems okay with... She has that tendency to settle but I think (so I'm sure) people find her choices misfitting to what she portrays. GOING BACK TO *she's very volatile, people may have not known this but she's just too lame at understanding her own self but when she feels weird about what's just happening that's when she's at her happiest. BECAUSE she finds it as an excuse to be living at present. She's the complicated character in the story. She never cry on some love or friendship kind of things because when that droplets of tears fall, she sees it weak. Care to know what makes her cry? Let her watch a singing contest or a love story where no one dies but shows a love that is not swayed in all times. She's a big fan of big dreams and the people who dares try to achieve their true heart's desire are her inspirations! All because she wishes to be just like them. She's not so different to anyone but I find her special because she's now trying to live like one.
The moral is, usually, if we watch our bad behavior on film or see someone else acting like us when we are bad then it makes us have more insight and want to behave differently. That is what I just did.
See yah in a different light, miss piggy!