Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Not laughing now.

Aha moment!

I’m so pissed off with life right now. It feels like the world is against all my endeavors but it doesn’t hurt. Because it is tiring to the core~!! Like what the F*CK did I just do to deserve this? Yes, it’s partly my fault for believing that I can make the business grow but that’s some courage to take before engaging myself in it. I had to sacrifice my sleep; my health, my 24 hours because even at work I keep watching the candle fall, my relationship with my family whom I’ve failed because of this d*mn trades!

I’m so pissed that I want to break free, escape from reality that I am broke, that I can’t even pay my bills on time just to pay my obligations. I don’t own my salary for past months now and I have dragged the agony of believing this will be over soon and that we can make it double. The fun swept by and I become less lively, now I’m cursing the mishaps I have.

I can’t even pay attention to someone who is giving me concern because I am overwhelmed with the situation I am in right now! People would say, “ohh you’re rich anyway”; “that isn’t such a big deal”; “there are a lot more people who are far more experiencing the worst of the worst”. And yet those words didn’t mean so much to me now that I hardly breathe nor live because of this. I know it will be different after this next two months but OH GOD if you’re there can you surprise me with something that would make me smile, would make this light. I can’t run to my family, friends and you know that I only have you and my pride. This may seem bad to hear but I mean it when I said nothing’s working for me. I feel ignored and helpless. 

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