Monday, January 6, 2014

I Miss My 6 o'clock Habit!!!


I don’t mind the aftermath… though it’s your birthday and if I’m making it special or burdensome. Selfish here!!!

I always think that I’m having the time of my life. I've never looked forward to going to work so much every day. I love it; it's great. It's how you make me feel whenever you’re just there at 6 o’clock visit and even the hours before and after.

I think you can get the wrong impression about me from work and think I'm always a bit masungit. I'm not that way at all. I'm fun-loving. But just so afraid to letting it shows especially to you that I have a crush on. 

Given my clumsy nature and amazing ability to say the wrong thing at the perfect moment chances are when we DO date, I will have a stain on my shirt. My hair will be messy and so I’m afraid to make you feel unhappy.

The personal infos you’ve shared made me google the signs to know how to tell if a guy likes you and it’s one of the most common indicator. --.---* Then I got all kilig again because of the thought of us being a pair soon… But I know I’m not being cooperative like how I used to be when our friends and officemates used to tease us… I’m being cold at most times like what happened last January 1 when we had a sort of date with closest group of friends in the office. I didn’t intend to be that awkward. It’s just that I can’t play the part of a girlfriend to you with everybody when I know that I'm not. So I just been ME but of course the giggling side of me. hehe… I missed the moments where I could have just be enjoying it with you. And I’m sorry for not even saying my sweet words before you sent me home. God~~~ I’m regretting now…

And how I wish I could say my plead to please don’t get tired of me like how I always suspect you to be every working day, will you still be visiting my station every chance you can get or when you’re on stop work? And counting the days has passed of your consistent visits it has been more than a month now. No, almost two months since you glanced me with those eye smiles. And I hate you for making me get used to it because since Thursday you’re now on your mid shift!!! I think you purposely did all those for me to be this straight forward. You stopped from texting me like the usual though you still say your HIs' when I came in the office and you’re on your perfect time to leave. Oh darn those hanged moments!

During the weekends you’re the most trending topic in my head that my only choice of avoiding is to sleep at least a complete 5-8 hours straight. You’re the very reason why I visit again the spa just to appear prepared for you. My nails are now all polished plus my skin is layered with lotion so when we touch you’ll know I’m taking good care of myself. Plus I find you very keen to details like you’ll read everything in my computer or the words written on my shirt. I like it that you're paying attention but one thing I hate is you finding me obvious with my blushing but sarrehhh~ I'm not your easy girl.

And so I’m afraid you’ll be gone any time… I’m hurting inside that I can’t even say the words I wish to say when you’re all being sincere and I’m just being my childish self, diverting the topics to less serious stuffs. I felt friendzoned now that you started feeling bored. I can’t blame you. Even my friends are calling me insensitive and acting all maarte in this most awaited love life in the making of mine because all I can share about is my growing feelings for you so all of them now feels the same way as you. Auhhgg! They’re now tired encouraging me to just fall in love and risk then TRY!

 In our get together you’re their most awaited guest in soonest time and I also hope you can meet those good friends who only wish me to be happy in love at last.

I hate this feeling of regret that these episodes of love in the making are here again. But I hate it this time to happen… When I sincerely find you now very cute (well you are!) and malambing!?! I want things to stay the same but I’m not very sure with how you’re feeling now. I’m a total mood wrecker in our every conversation and never put a little effort to also cheer you up, to hang out with you in almost a middle of sleep. I’m so sorry~ I hope I can be the person you’ll wish to end up with but today I’m still not. If we can just wait with no pressure then let’s see where this push and pull relationship will take us. Like I miss you bebe kong mahal~~~~~ I wish to hug you on this day and just open up my feelings without holding back but there you are not the same as before because of my own wrong moves. Hope you understand that I'm puzzled! I'm not being my real self because you are different from the rest I came to know. One thing I can be sure of that you're not a friend, not a mere officemate... and not anymore the crush I used to include in my jokes with playful officemates. You've reached the point where I'm letting you know that I like you to be in my life, for always if possible. 

I feel like crying with this cake!!!

This I wish to say on your birthday, I like you just the way you are... I appreciate the no-pretense person that  I came to know~ 

Again, Happy Birthday! 

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