These past few weeks I’ve been getting so short-tempered with things I’m not comfortable to talk about. Truth is I have a lot of insecurities that I’m still battling with. And obviously it hurts my pride reacting about it again and again. I used to be cool about it for quite some time but then again here are these people who barely knew me and think of these issues as just random fine things to throw on me. Indeed, provoking to make me feel uneasy now that kept me on typing. Sigh.
Little did they know that I’m really that sensitive type? Like I don’t have a height that can pass as a beauty queen maybe that’s the reason why I’m at the office or into football that doesn’t requires height and fair complexion.
I’m far enough from my sister as well. It’s already a cliché to compare sisters’ right but that’s it! I still get those same comments… And of course I’m turning on high hopes on myself whenever people ask if “who’s who” in all things that favors the other party. Then I got pissed but try not to let it show and just ride on it. I know. I clearly know why they’re asking.
Of course maturity strikes after a couple of silence. It’s all to get my reaction. To get to know me better maybe but will they be willing to welcome my easily angered personality.
I have learned from my late grandparents that whenever I’m about to get angry I should count numbers 1-10 first before saying anything. Hmmmnnn… but then again I used to forget but it always made me feel guilty for throwing tantrums and unthinkable words found on my gloomy atmosphere.
I’m pretty decent with my delivery of words as well and I guess I’m likable enough to be surrounded with teasing friends. And I’m a type of “what you see is what you get” I have depth in my reasons that somehow I feel like I’m down playing myself to be easily interact with almost everybody. But I guess I’m being too welcoming that they would think I don’t have boundaries easily wrecked. Guys, I have it too like you do. I’m not here to welcome your half meant jokes, sarcasms and all. It’s not cool man! You may think I’m ok with almost anything but I’m not. But I don’t know. But I won’t like it either if you’ll keep a distance from me just because you’ve been glared by my wicked eyes after hitting me hard. That maybe your consequence but for me the guilt bounces over and done that I again didn’t learned the lesson. So from here, let’s all live with a bit of space from each and every folks. Try to sense the change of street lights on the way of our lines.
Well, apologies on that peeps. It shouldn’t be it if you haven’t started~
(When I got mad I used to exude whatever I have on hand. Well not literally. That's to compensate for my lost of words and forgive me, self-pity.)